A Chance to Dream
by Unintentional Emo Kid
Summary: Ron Weasley has absolutely shattered Hermione Granger, and she finds herself without the strength to go on. Five years after the end of the war, she finds herself more alone than she's ever been. What will it take to bring her back?
1. Chapter 1

The sun was bright as it swept across the floor of Hermione Granger's bedroom. It was the middle of summer, a time when she'd normally be at her happiest, she was truly miserable. She hated, more than anything, the complete return to being at her most alone. No friends, no dorm-mates, no classmates. She didn't even have a pet to share in her loneliness.

Hermione shifted in her bed, letting the daily misery wash over her. She hadn't slept the night before, at least, not slept well. She drifted in and out of dreams, remembering the last words he'd said to her "I can't trust you, Hermione! We're through!" She couldn't believe her own stupidity. She thoroughly loathed herself for the person she had become after the war. It wasn't just _who_ she'd become, but rather _what_. The problem was, there was no going back now, she thought savagely, I already drove him away and I can't get him back.

Seeing no other way than to get up and take a shower, she threw the dark blue comforter off her with a sweeping motion and rose from the bed. Hermione's body felt heavy, like the whole world was pressing down on her. She dropped her pajamas to the floor and turned on the hot water. Turning to the mirror, she peered at the reflection staring back at her. This girl was not the Hermione Granger she used to be. Dark circles had formed under her eyes, and she looked, like she hadn't slept in weeks. The biggest difference was the way the girl in the mirror just looked sad. Six months prior, she would have looked in the mirror and seen the happiest woman in the world.

She groaned inwardly and noticed steam pouring from the top of the shower. Stepping in, she felt the hot water relax the tight muscles in her shoulders and neck, and bring her at least a little pleasure in what she felt was the misery of her own life. Hermione let the hot water run over her as she pondered over the events that had happened six months ago. She could still remember Ron's face as he turned away from her, telling her he never wanted to see or speak to her ever again.

She could still remember Ron telling her he didn't trust her, no matter what she did. He was right of course, she thought, what I did was truly inexcusable. He shouldn't have to deal with the likes of me. Ever. Her misery got the better of her, and she slumped down to the floor of the tub, pulling her knees into her chest and just letting herself cry. Thankfully, she lived alone and no one could hear her.

Hermione blamed herself. She wished she wasn't who she was. She sought solace in talking to him in her thoughts. It wasn't healthy, but it was the only way that she could get through the day anymore.

"Ron, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say the things I did to you. I didn't mean to do the things I did to you. I wish I could take it all back. I wish you could see me now. See how much I need you, how much I would do just to get you back." She pleaded silently from the floor of the bathtub.

She took several deep breaths, and let herself calm down. Hermione slowly stood up, washed her hair in the icy cold water, and shut it off. Shivering in the cold bathroom, she dried herself with a nearby towel, still thinking of the things that had happened six months ago. She wrapped the towel around herself, and walked back to the bedroom where she slowly got dressed. Putting on sweatpants and a t-shirt and putting her wet hair into a pony tail.

Hermione sighed and sank back down onto the bed. She'd never felt more alone in her life. Even when she'd been a child and tormented by every single girl in her class, she'd always had her parents to come home too. They loved her and cared about her. After the war, there were still pockets of snatchers hunting down muggleborns and their families. In her mind, she was better to leave them in Australia until the government settled down.

But the war had ended five years ago. She was now twenty-two, and living on her own in a small flat in the West of London, about four blocks from Piccadilly circus. She loved the rumble of the city at night, it gave her overactive mind something to think about besides her misery. The magical government had long since settled, with Kingsley Shacklebolt elected as minister. Hermione had wound up head of Muggle Liaisons, making more money than she'd ever dreamt of, but not even that gave her pleasure now.

It was partially the work that had strained her relationship with Ron. Somehow, he overcame his performance anxiety of keeping and went on to play for England in the cup. He was an incredible player, now. His being on the road, and her being swamped with work, they barely had time for each other. Then came the fighting, the trying to resolve it, and the fighting again. Hermione knew she loved him, and was nothing without him and that alone saved their relationship.

That is, until Matthew came along. He was one of the men working working in the obliviator squad. Matthew was funny, charismatic, incredibly good-looking, and phenomenally intelligent. Hermione found herself very much so attracted to him, but she didn't feel the same way about him as she did Ron. In a world where she didn't have a relationship with him, he would have been absolutely perfect. Not to mention, he was very obviously attracted to her.

Regardless of her feelings for Ron, she found herself going to dinner with him four or five times a week, spending all her spare time (when Ron was on the road or at practice) with him and all her time thinking about him. Hermione found herself loving him like the best friend she desperately missed, the one that she had fallen for over the last ten years over their lives. One night, after spending the night reading half of Lockhart's "Travels with Trolls" and laughing at how idiotic this man had been (not to mention how pompous his writing style) they'd fallen asleep, Hermione's head wresting on Matt's lap and his arm lying across her stomach.

Ron had walked in, saw them asleep like that, and flew into a rage. Hermione knew he was overreacting, but she felt guilty nonetheless. Ron's rages were becoming more and more frequent as he worried more and more that she was cheating on him with Matt. Mainly because he was all she talked about whenever Ron _was_ at home.

"I can't trust you when I'm gone, Hermione! What else have the two of you done behind my back?" He roared, red-faced.

Hermione shrank back from him, afraid he might do something rash and hit her.

"We haven't done ANYTHING, Ron, we fell asleep!" Hermione, said in a small scared voice. She knew, deep down, that she shouldn't have done anything with him. She quietly told Matt he should go, when Ron flew into a second rage.

"No. I'm leaving. I'm done, Hermione. I can't trust you. All you ever talk about is 'Matt this' and 'Matt that'. How can I believe anything _but_ that you're in love with him? How can I believe that you didn't do anything?" And walked out the door.

"Ron, no, please. Come back! I'm sorry, I don't love him. Please believe me! Please come back!" she shouted out the door, but it was too late, he had already disapparated. She slumped down into the doorframe and just cried. Matt walked over quietly and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do, Hermione? I feel awful…" He said sadly. Matt must know it was partially his fault; there was no denying it that they were both completely in the wrong in this situation. Hermione thought for a moment.

"Please, Matt, I think you should just leave now. I'll be in touch." Hermione heard how pitiful her voice sounded. She sounded dead and hollow, just like she felt. Matt gave her one last, pleading look before making a loud crack, and disapparating into thin air. She knew in her heart, that she was never going to speak to him again.

She cried all night, wave after wave of misery washing over her, when her alarm rang at six o clock, she dragged herself out of bed and went to work. She hadn't been at the office five minutes when Arthur walked in, he didn't look to happy with her, and she shrank back into her chair. He had much more power now, taking the role of vice minister under Kingsley. Truthfully, he scared her a little on a good day, not to mention the fact that Ron had stormed out in a rage, probably straight to his mother.

"Ron's told us what's happened. From what he's said, I think he's overreacting a lot, however, he does have a right to be angry." Arthur's expression softened as he looked at Hermione. She knew she was white faced, with greasy hair and puffy eyes. "Hermione, I know you don't want to be here, and I know you're hurting. I can put a temp in charge if you want some time to clear your head. Truthfully, I don't blame you at all, but you can't deny that he's been hurt here, too."

Hermione mutely nodded, grabbed her briefcase and thanked him.

"Give him a few days. He'll come around." Hermione then nodded again and apparated into her bedroom. Throwing her briefcase into a corner, she dropped onto the bed, and cried.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I was rather surprised at how many people added this to their favorites or alert list; way more than I anticipated! I have plans to rewrite this later, more than likely as it's own work (as in, not a fanfic) so reviews would be incredibly appreciated.

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A few days passed, then a week, and soon she lost track of how long it had been. It was nearly six months before she looked at a calendar. She hadn't received mail (if she did, she probably looked at it and through it in the bin), and no one even took the time to visit her in those six months. Not only had she lost Ron, but the crushing loneliness that had taken his place was becoming unbearable. She seemed to have lost everyone else in the time it took for him to walk out the door. She wondered how much everyone must hate her for hurting him.

A loud crack echoed throughout her bedroom. She looked up from the pillow she was resting on, and saw something she didn't expect. A tall, thin, black-haired man wearing glasses was standing next to the bed. She stared at him for a solid thirty seconds before dissolving into tears again, wondering if she was hallucinating. She couldn't believe it had taken him _this _long to finally check on her. She couldn't be angry however; it was finally a chance to get rid of the aching loneliness in her heart.

Hermione felt the bed sink down next to her and a hand resting on her back, gently rubbing it until she felt herself calm down. She pulled herself up into a sitting position, Indian style with a pillow on her lap, tears still sliding down her face. Harry watched her for a moment.

"Hermione, I didn't realize that things were this bad. Maybe I should take you to 's. I'm worried about your health…" He hadn't taken his hand from her back. He was babbling, unsure of what to say.

"I don't need to go to 's. I'll be fine…" Her voice was still hollow and flat. "I'll be fine." There was sureness in her voice, but Harry still shifted uneasily.

"Hermione, you haven't been to work in six months. Arthur's worried about you. He wanted to come himself but I told him I'd go. Ron refuses to even speak of the subject..." Harry blanched, hating to hear the words himself, "Hermione, I want you to forget him. He's not worth it if he hurts you this much."

Hermione stared at him, considering what'd just said. She wanted to move on; she just wanted her life back. She wanted to go back to her job, to enjoy life again. But Ron was the thing about her life she'd enjoyed the most. And he was gone. She'd do anything to get him back.

"Harry, I'm…just…I want my life back. I miss him so much, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even function. I feel like I'll never be happy again. I don't know how to let him go…especially not when all I want is to have him back." Hermione dissolved into tears before she could even finish her speech on how she wasn't functioning. She felt Harry's hand resting on her back again, and she dissolved further into tears. That was when she realized he hadn't said that _he_ was worried about her

"Harry, why are _you_ here? Why didn't you just let Arthur come?" She couldn't even force the curiosity into her voice like she wanted to; she wasn't entirely sure she wanted him to see her this way.

"Hermione, I love you. You're…like my sister, and I haven't heard from you in six months. I haven't seen you in six months, and I was wondering if I was ever going to hear from you again. I was afraid that you had taken your own life and no one had cared enough to even look for you. What I found was better than that alternative, but I'm afraid that if I had come any later that it _would_ have happened. I want to kick myself right now for not coming sooner. I should have been here." He pulled her close, letting her rest against him. "And from what I can see, you've lost a lot of weight, probably from not eating well for six months."

Hermione shifted guiltily against him, thinking of the razorblades she had stashed away in her medicine chest.

"You're right. It wasn't far off. Maybe I should check myself in to St. Mungo's. Do you really think they could help me?" Hermione felt so distant from herself. She even heard it in her voice. She turned slightly and looked into Harry's vivid green eyes.

He sighed, "I don't want you to go, Hermione, but I can't stand seeing you like this. You're a mess. You can't go on like this."

She didn't want to leave him, either, she realized. Maybe it was the loneliness that still gripped her, maybe something more, but she knew that she couldn't do this without him.

"Harry, I don't think I want to go. I don't want to leave you. You're the first person I've talked to since he left. Maybe, just maybe, you can help me get him back. Take me to him. Tie him to a chair. It doesn't matter what you do, just make him listen to me. Please."

Harry considered her for a moment. The look she saw on his face told her everything she didn't want to know—he was adamant about not seeing her ever again.

"Hermione…as much as I'd like to do that, and believe me, I would. I'm fairly certain he's moved on. He's met someone else. Her name is Elizabeth." He paused to take a deep breath, "He asked her to marry him last night."

Hermione heard what he said and just froze in place. It felt like the world had dropped out from under her. She didn't dissolve into tears. It just reaffirmed her belief. Her relationship with Ron was long over. She couldn't think of anything to say. She just sat and stared into space wondering how much she'd missed in six months. How much she could have done. She took a deep breath.

"I'm done being upset over him. He's moved on, and I deserve to do the same."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Alright, I know it's a very quick update, but I honestly couldn't resist putting up chapter 3. Reviews are still appreciated. :)

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"If I'd known it was only going to take me telling you Ron has completely moved on, I would have told you months ago."

"I haven't moved on. I'm just tired of living like this."  
Worry crossed Harry's face, he studied the new hardness that had formed beneath the surface of her eyes.

"You really think I believe that, Hermione? After all the time the two of you were together, after knowing for years that you were perfect for each other, you're just going to let him go? Just like that? There's no way. But you've got to stop beating yourself up about it. Ron overreacted. It's his loss, not yours."

Hermione considered these words, but couldn't bring herself to believe that it wasn't quite her fault. She knew, deep down that so many other things had contributed, but she still felt responsible.

"I know you're right; Ron overreacted, this isn't my fault, work made us both stretch to the ends of our rope, whatever else. But that doesn't mean I don't feel like it is still my fault. I never cheated on him, I swear. Maybe what I did was considered cheating, I don't care. But it was the straw that broke the camel's back."

She stared off into space again, her feelings overwhelming her once again. She was so angry at herself for messing up the one thing in her life that had kept her going. It led her to thinking about why she bothered to stay alive for the last six months.

Finally, Harry broke the silence, "I'm dying to see you eat something. Seriously, Hermione, have you looked in a mirror in the last six months? You're skin and bones." Wheels were turning in his head, he was sure she knew. Something about her over the last ten years just drew him to her in a way he couldn't remember.

Hermione shifted to look in the mirror hanging on the closet door. Self-consciously, she tugged at the too loose sweatpants and baggy sweatshirt. She hadn't looked in the mirror in months, not really, anyway. She'd looked at her face, but all she'd seen was her own misery and defeat. She hadn't seen how thin she was.

"Wow…"she said softly, "I hadn't even realized how much weight I'd lost…" She turned away from the mirror, and sank down to the floor. "I look awful." She shook her head.

Harry eyed her pityingly and watched the little light that had come into her eyes in the last two hours fade out. Again, she was a broken woman, sitting on the floor of the apartment, staring off into space as though she'd never been happy again. In his mind, she deserved so much better than to spend the rest of her life pining over Ron. He loved Ron like a brother, but watching Hermione just made him incredibly sad. He couldn't let her go on like this.

"Just let me go get us a pizza or something. Is there anything in particular you want to eat?" He asked, wondering if he could even persuade her to eat that.

Hermione shook her head, not wanting to move or eat. Harry inwardly groaned, knowing he'd caused this, and apparated down to street level, where he set off in the direction of the nearest pizzeria. When he realized he had no idea what Hermione even wanted on this pizza. Deciding she was probably hungry enough to eat anything, he kept walking.

Back in her bedroom, Hermione knew she was faced with a choice. She could simply take her life using the blades she'd set aside for this purpose, or she could wait for Harry to come back and tell him she'd been considering it since he'd left. She rose from the carpet. In her stocking feet, she walked into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet, turning the pack of razors over and over in her hands.

She'd opened the package and was running a finger down one of the blades when a realization hit her: Harry had left Ginny tonight to make sure she was okay. He was risking their entire relationship to make her well again. Hermione realized that she did not to do damage to their relationship because of her. It was unfair to mess up two of the Weasley's lives because she was so selfish. As these thoughts came to her, she pulled her wand out of her pocket and conjured a quill and piece of parchment.

_ Harry, _

_ I know that you're going to be the one to find this tonight. You have no idea how sorry I am that you have to be the one to do that. But I can't keep going like this, and we both know that. I realized that you left Ginny tonight so you could be with me tonight, and I'm not doing damage like that to your relationship. She shouldn't have to suffer because of me. _

_ Please, give this note to Ron as well. Tell him not to feel guilty, as it was entirely my fault. I know that I don't deserve to die, and I know I deserve to live. The problem is that I don't want to live anymore. I can't keep spending day in and day out in absolute misery. I'm so sorry. _

_ Tell Arthur to place Matthew permanently in my position. He can handle it much better than I ever could. I'm sorry I never got to make the improvements in muggle relations that I would have. _

_ As for my worldly possessions, do whatever you like with them. I won't need them. _

_ Again, I am so, so sorry you have to be the one to find this. I hope to God you remain the Harry Potter I always knew. Don't ever change because of this. I'm sorry. _

_ -__Hermione_

Hermione signed the note and stared at it for a long moment. It was the hardest thing she ever had to write, and yet the words had come out so easily. In one swift movement, she drew the razor blade across her wrists, before she could change her mind, and sank down to the floor. She was strangely at peace as she knew the pain was about to end. The thought of finally ending her pain was soothing as she slipped into the blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

The darkness that surrounded Hermione faded quickly, and all the pain that had been in her body seemed to evaporate into the soft, warm air around her. She was comfortable, for the moment, floating in a very peaceful state. She didn't want to move, not in the slightest. She was just so comfortable lying on whatever it was she was lying on.

Hermione realized that this was the first time in the last six months that she had felt anywhere near as peaceful as this. Even when she had slept, she felt misery seeping through every fiber in her body. Reflecting on this, she realized part of her peacefulness was due mainly in fact that they didn't matter anymore. Ron didn't matter, Harry didn't matter, her parents didn't matter, and nothing mattered. Ron had already long since moved on from her, Harry would be okay, he still had Ginny to keep him sane, and that gave her peace knowing he would be the one to find her. Although it would be traumatizing for him, he would be okay. Hermione's parents were still in Australia, oblivious to the fact that she had ever even existed. She felt a slight pang as she remembered this, but she knew they were happy, and could have another child if they so choose.

Finally, Hermione decided she should open her eyes and see where she was. The light dazzled her eyes for a moment, before focusing on the beauty of the place around her. It was the most beautiful meadow she had ever seen. Tall trees were all around her, ringing the meadow in the distance, with a path leading off over a hill to some unknown place. Wildflowers danced around her in the warm sunlight, nodding their brilliantly colored heads in the soft summer breezes. This is the place in her fantasy that had always brought her peace.

Hermione pulled herself into a sitting position and took in all the surroundings. She felt so at peace that even being completely alone here didn't bother her. She guessed it had something to do with the fact that she had wanted to be alone and pain free for the last six months. Rising to her feet, she chose to take the path leading over the hill to her left. It wandered a bit, fabricating what she would have left out of her fantasies. There was a foot bridge over the stream, birds flying overhead, crying out to their nest mates, and small animals skittering through the underbrush as she reached the trees that had ringed the meadow.

She wasn't sure where she was going, just following the path where it led her, wherever that might be. Hermione had been walking a long time, but didn't feel tired or thirsty, just the strange peacefulness that had lulled over her when she had first arrived here. The trees grew no thicker, and she just kept walking, wondering in a vague way where she was going.

Unfortunately, there were more important things going on in her mind than where she was going. As soon as she reached the trees, she seemed to hear familiar voices echoing around her. Her mother's voice, telling her a bedtime story, Ron's voice when he was overly excited, Fred and George's twin speak that had always found a way to amuse her, and Harry's sound of utter despair, which she knew he had made after he'd found her, which she hadn't even heard. She considered, still at peace, the effect that her dying was going to have on everyone else. She felt a little guilty, knowing that people's lives were going to be changed because of her desperate actions.

As soon as these thoughts rain through Hermione's mind, she crashed into a golden gate in front of her. A sign on the gate, gracefully lettered, read "Please wait for your spirit guide". Hermione pondered this as she sat down on the ground and waited patiently for whoever or whatever her spirit guide was. She briefly considered that they might let her take back her mistake of taking her own life, but she wasn't to entirely sure that could happen. The skies overhead had become slightly overcast now, and she realized the sky above her must reflect her emotions, the clouds above representing each little doubt in her mind as she considered her actions.

The cracking of a twig somewhere to here right put her on high alert, where she'd been mostly since she'd come back from the war. A familiar pattern of footsteps was headed in her direction, and intuitively, she knew it was someone she was very familiar with, but she couldn't quite place who the footsteps belonged to. She sighed and rose from the ground, not wanting whoever it was to see her sitting on the ground.

She then clearly saw the person coming through the trees, towards her. He had flaming red hair, a crooked smile, and an aura that gave off the most amazing sense of fun and mischief. He obviously hadn't been told who he was guiding because the smile fell from his face as soon as he recognized Hermione.

Of all people to be her spirit guide, she absolutely had not expected it to be Fred Weasley. She stared, dumbstruck as he lengthened his stride and hurried towards her.

"Hermione? What on earth happened to you? I didn't expect to see you hear for ages!" He sounded worried, and in her mind she knew he was worrying about Harry and Ron and the rest of his family that absolutely adored her.

Hermione kept her eyes downcast because she didn't want to answer him. She didn't want to be the one to tell him that Ron had absolutely destroyed her and that she couldn't deal with the pain. She fidgeted, and she felt his eyes on her, obviously curious and a little bit afraid.

"By not speaking are you trying to tell me you don't know, or that you'd rather not say?" He questioned, wondering if that was the case.

"Truthfully, I'd rather not say…but I definitely know.." Hermione's eyes darkened, but at least she had admitted part of the problem. She sighed, not sure where to go with this conversation. She knew, again intuitively, that he couldn't help unless she told him everything. But it was _Fred. _She had never really told him anything before, let alone this. She felt him move closer, and a hand rested on her shoulder.

"Hermione, I kind of already have some idea of what happened, if you had been killed by rogue death eaters, you'd have admitted that straight away. If it had been something where you didn't know, you would have been confused. And you look incredibly guilty, which is why it's now raining, in case you didn't figure that you. Adding these parts up, that leaves one solution: suicide." His voice was calm, and it calmed her down a bit, "Now, I know what you did, but I can't help you through the gate unless we talk and you tell me _why_ you did it."

She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, while Fred just sat down on the ground in front of her, waiting patiently for her to talk. Copying his movement, she sat down in the brush facing him, not sure where to begin. She sighed; she had some questions for him before she would tell him anything.

"What's through that gate?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Fred watched her carefully for a moment, wondering whether to answer or to push her further. He considered his options, and chose to answer the question.

"Through the gate is what most people would call 'heaven'. However, in your case, you have the option _not_ to go through. Right now, you're in a comatose state, and that's why I'm here. I'm going to help you make the decision to go back or to go through the gate." His voice was casual, but Hermione could hear a lot of careful thought put into the words. She knew he couldn't be harsh with her, or she'd just go back the way she came, "So, are you going to tell me why you did it?"

Hermione carefully considered his words, and slowly nodded, deciding that she knew he would help her make the decision.

"Well, after the war, things started to settle down again. There are still pockets of rogue death eaters roaming around, so I never went and got my parents, thank God. I moved into a flat in London, by myself. I became the head of Muggle Liaisons…"—Fred interrupted with a low whistle—"And Ron and I began officially dating." She Hermione saw Fred blanch in front of her. She turned curious eyes on him, and watched as he realized he had no choice but to explain himself.

"Before I was killed, Hermione…I always sort of had a thing for you. You weren't like other girls, and I always sort of hoped. I was going to ask you on a date but, well, a wall kind of got in the way." Fred explained, blushing. Hermione felt herself blushing, as well, but knew she had to continue.

"Ron was playing keeper…"—another whistle from Fred, which Hermione ignored—"for England. Things were going well for awhile, I was really falling for him, when I became friends with a bloke from work. One night, Matt and I had sat on the couch in my flat making fun of one of Lockhart's old books, and we fell asleep, and Ron flew into the worst rage I had ever seen him in." Hermione had to pause here, tears overtook her and the rain that was falling around them increased.

Fred was boiling with anger at this point. He didn't want to know what was coming next, but he knew he had to listen. Fred couldn't believe that Ron had hurt her this way. He wished that he had said something to her sooner. He scooted closer to Hermione and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She was experiencing the full weight of her actions now, and he knew that she was going to go back to reality because she felt the guilt.

Hermione stopped crying, and knew without a doubt that she had to continue. She took a deep breath, and leaned against Fred's chest.

"What happened then, Hermione?" He pulled her closer, wishing he could hit a reset button and make her better before she went back.

"He stormed out of the flat yelling about how 'I'm not who he thought I was' and 'we're through'. I lost it, Fred. I spent days crying, and once the crying stopped, I just felt dead inside. I blamed myself. Ron told the rest of your family the same night. Your dad understood enough to give me work off until I was myself again. It was six months before anyone spoke to me again, and that was when Harry could come see me. I knew that he was risking everything just to come see me, and I couldn't do that him and Ginny. That's when I decided it was time to just…go." She finished rather lamely. She took a shaky breath, and looked up at Fred, who was considering her entire story.

"Hermione, it's up to you at this point whether you want to go back. If you do go back though, I don't want you anywhere near Ron. He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you. In fact, it makes me want to tell you not to go, because I'd take much better care of you here." Fred tensed as his anger coursed through his body again.

Hermione considered her options. She could go back, get treatment and possibly be happy again, without Ron. Or she could stay here, in this place, with Fred, forever.

"Do you happen to know what the consequences of each choice are?" She asked, wondering how in the world she was going to make this decision. It was going to be far from easy, and she knew it.

"Well, if you go back, it's a long road to recovery. You'll have to go through therapy, and lots of it. If you stay here, you will have to watch your friends and family grieve for you from here. Truthfully, it was hard for me to watch. I honestly don't want to see what it will do to the rest of them if they lose you, too." Fred put his input in, and then sat back to watch her consider.

"Is there any way I could take you with me, if I go? I don't want to be alone anymore." Hermione felt her feelings betray her and confess what she'd been thinking for awhile now. Fred smiled at her sadly; there was no way for him to come back, no matter how much he wanted to. He desperately wished there was.

The quick snapping sound of a twig snapped them both from their thoughts. Another figure was coming towards them, one neither of them recognized. They looked curiously at each other as the girl neared them from the opposite way Fred had come.

"There is a way." She spoke softly, ethereally, "However, it comes at great cost."

"Erm..not to be rude, but who are you?" Fred asked her, curiously.

"I am the guardian of life and death. An oracle, if you will." The girl's ethereal voice did not change, but she glowed softly with a soft white light emanating from her.

"You said there's a way for him to come back?" Hermione asked curiously, hardly daring to believe that such a thing could be done.

"Yes, but like I said, it comes with a cost." The girl looked pointedly at Fred here, "The cost is something most people aren't willing to pay. First, however, you have to tell me why it is you want to go back, and the reason must be valid."

Without hesitation, Fred responded, "Hermione needs me. If she goes back, she's not going to be able to keep going on her own." The girl considered Fred's words, and smiled.

"Your reason is valid and unselfish. We will return you in such a way that it will be as if you never died. That part of their memories will be wiped out. The cost, however, is something you value greatly. More than you value anything else." Fred's stomach lurched, praying that he wouldn't have to give up his relationship with Hermione. There would be no point in going back then.

"I won't take Hermione from you, because she is your reason to go back. What I will have to take from you, is something that is yet to happen. The cost is that you will lose your first child." Her eyes darkened slightly, and Fred closed his eyes, considering it.

He opened them a moment later.

"I'll do it. I want to go back." His eyes sparkled knowing that he was about to be back at home, running his joke shop with his brothers and sister and friends. He grinned at Hermione, who looked absolutely bewildered at him, but smiled back, albeit a bit unsure.

The girl smiled, and spoke, "You need to back down the path Hermione came from. There you will find the door back to reality. The best of luck to you"

The girl dissolved almost at once. Startled, Fred and Hermione took a step back from the spot they stood.

"We're going home," Fred grinned at her again, and grabbed her hand, nearly dragging her down the path. "I can't wait."

Hermione knew that she would be grateful when she woke up. She just wondered how different things would be when it did.

* * *

A/N: It may take me a while to keep updating this, since school started again. I really didn't intend to make this a Fred/Hermione thing, but I like that pairing far too much to just ignore it. Plus, it's better than stopping this story to start something new. :) Twice as long as the previous chapters, because this chapter was really fun to write, actually, hopefully I can keep it up.

Reviews would be much appreciated. :)


	5. Chapter 5

A throbbing began in Hermione's head and she realized she must be close to reality once more. The feeling of the soft grass beneath her body faded, and was replaced by lumpy mattress, the warm air around her faded into a drafty room, and the smell of nature faded away into disinfectant and potion ingredients. The only thing that did not change as she woke was the feel of a hand in hers.

After struggling for a moment, she opened her eyes, and again, felt blinded by the lights above her. Quickly, she shut her eyes again, and then opened them once they adjusted to the brilliant fluorescent lights above her. The hand that had been in hers was gripping more tightly now, and hushed voices were speaking all around her. The fervent whisper sounded like "thank god, she's awake" said over and over again by people she couldn't see.

Her eyes fully adjusted to the room around her, and she realized that the person holding her hand was not Fred, like it had been when she'd gone back to sleep from the other world, but Harry. Her heart sank as she realized that her trip to the other side had been just a dream, but decided she would keep her hopes up until she saw a contradiction of it.

Hermione took a good look at Harry's face. He looked like he hadn't slept for days and worry creased every possible line on his forehead. He still held her hand, which she was just realizing was covered in bandages. She pulled her hand free from Harry's and realized what it was that she had done. Immediately realizing how much she must have scared him, she threw herself into a hug with as much for as she could muster, apologizing profusely.

"I'm so sorry, it was a stupid mistake. It wasn't until after I'd done it that I realized I didn't really want to die. Not when I really had so much to live for. Please, please don't be angry at me…"Hermione pleaded, pulling back from the hug so she could see his face.

Harry studied her for a moment, and then pulled her back into the hug one more time, trying to communicate to her that it was fine, she was alright, and that was what mattered most to him. He figured she must have understood when she started crying into his shoulder, feeling ridiculous.

After what seemed an eternity, he broke the hug and lay her back down in the bed where she belonged. She was still crying a bit, which they both were expecting.

"How long was I asleep?" She asked, wondering honestly if she had missed much.

"It's been a few days, Hermione. They kept you out until your blood was fully replenished. You lost a lot. They weren't expecting you to make it, but I guess you really had decided you wanted to live, and you fought hard to keep yourself here." Harry spoke thoughtfully, and carefully, so as not scare her again.

Hermione nodded mutely, knowing just how close she had come to death. At least, how close she thought she'd come to death. She desperately wanted to know if that had been a dream or reality. She desperately hoped for the latter choice, but she couldn't be sure. Harry was watching her as she seemed to stare off into space.

"Hermione?" He phrased her name like a question, sounding almost afraid of her.

"Hmm..?" She mumbled as she continued to stare at the wall, reliving her journey to the gate.

"Please don't ever do this to me again. I've never been so worried, and neither has anyone else. There was something you wrote in your letter that really bothered me. What you said about worrying about hurting me and Ginny because I went to help you. Why would you assume that helping my best friend would hurt us? Hermione, if she couldn't understand that you had really needed me, which she did, then why on earth would I stay with her? She's your friend, too, and she's been just as worried as I have been." Harry said all of this in a rush, but Hermione was quick enough to catch every word he'd spoken. He'd obviously been thinking very hard about what he was going to say when she woke up, and apparently for a while now. She blushed deeply, realizing her mistake in her line of thinking.

"I don't know, Harry. I guess I just wasn't thinking straight. I hadn't been for a long time. But I realized something while I was out. I really do deserve to live, and no one can make me feel like I don't deserve to and anyone that does doesn't deserve me at all." Tears ran down Hermione's face once again, betraying her feelings again, not that it mattered.

Harry smiled at her. He was glad to see that she had made some pretty serious revelations about herself, and that she was slowly moving on from every person that had ever hurt her. Childhood enemies from grammar school, bullies from Hogwarts, Ron, and every other single person in the world that had ever made her feel inferior to who she really was.

"Do you feel like you're up to seeing other people? They've been worried sick, and I'm guessing that now that they know you're awake they're absolutely dying to see you." Harry could hear the voices in the hallway growing more and more impatient as the minutes passed.

Hermione nodded slowly, recognizing that this would be the moment that she would know if that had been a dream or reality. She took a deep breath as a stream of people flooded into the hospital room. She beamed as she quickly saw the faces surrounding her; Molly and Arthur, Ginny, Hagrid, her parents, and a pair of twins that she hadn't seen together in nearly five years. It had been real! Her stomach was again in her throat as she saw Fred alive again for the first time in five years. As she met his eyes, he brought his finger to his lips, letting her not to exclaim on seeing him again.

It was apparent that her eyes lit up, but thankfully Hermione was sure that they thought it was because everyone was there to welcome her back. That wasn't untrue, she was glad no one hated her for being an idiot and nearly ending her own life, but her eyes lit up because she was sure she had found someone that was much, much better for her than _he_ had ever been. In her mind, even thinking his name still hurt. She was far from truly over Ron, but she knew what direction she wanted to move.

Throughout the day more people came in and out, never leaving her a moment at peace. Harry never left her side, but Fred, to keep up appearances only stayed as long as his parents and Ginny did. Suddenly showing interest that way could truly bring up suspicion. Hermione wished he would stay longer, as she desperately needed to talk to him about what had happened. She kept up her appearances, especially when Ginny chose to spend a few hours talking and laughing like nothing had changed. Hermione really did appreciate that she chose to act like nothing had changed and that she still cared.

Finally, Ginny and Harry both headed out, finally giving Hermione a bit of peace and quiet. She sat up in bed and stretched. She had been lying down far too long. One of the healers on the ward popped and she had to ask if she could take a walk. She was desperate to move. After a few moments of pleading and a promise not to strain herself, she could walk to the end of the hall and back. It felt very good to stretch her legs. She made her way back down the hall to her room, tired out after her short adventure. There, sitting in a chair stretch out by the bed, was Fred Weasley.

Hermione grinned as she walked in the room, she couldn't help it. He was the direction she should have been moving in from the beginning. She sank back down on the bed, pulled the blankets up to her waist and turned to face him. She could see the mischievous smile lighting up his amazingly blue eyes. They were so like Ron's, only the blue was darker and had a light in them that Ron's had never captured.

It took a moment, but she realized they were staring at each other. Blushing, Hermione looked away, but when she looked at Fred again he was still looking at her.

"Hermione, can you believe that that craziness we just went through was real? I mean, can you believe that I just….came back to life?" Everything that he wanted to say was just spilling out, like a dam of words was spilling out.

She just shook her head, "No, Fred, I'm having a hard time believing it myself. I mean, that means I was really dead, doesn't it? That I had really died. I almost lost everything…" Fred watched her eyes cloud over, and worry etched itself across her forehead.

"But I think that's why I was there. You weren't meant to die that soon. Hermione, there was so much life for you to live that there was no way they were going to take you that soon. You had the choice, but they sent me because they knew I could convince you to go back." Fred said, watching her reaction very carefully.

"You knew all that? Really knew?" She asked, almost not believing a word he said.

"I'm pretty certain, but I wasn't directly told anything. Do you remember what I said to you?" He looked a little afraid of her reaction to that one.

Questions formed in her mind, as he had told her so many things while they were "dead".

"Which thing, exactly are you talking about?" She cocked her head to the side a little bit, very curious as to where this conversation was going.

"About how I…erm…have a thing for you?" Fred's ears turned red as he looked downward at his hands in his lap. Hermione felt herself blush as well, more from being nerbous as to what it is he was about to say. She had this absolute fear that he was going to take it back. She didn't want to find out that he didn't want to have any sort of feelings for her in reality. She took a deep breath, and let him continue.

"Do you think we should give it a try? Not now, obviously, but…eventually. I want to take this slower, especially after everything you went through with Ron. Not to mention…" He paused, trying to find the right words. Finally he took a deep breath and continued, "Ron's not really through with you. He broke up with that girl he was messing around with. I figure you should hear it before he tells you. I don't want you to go back to him, Hermione. He's not worth it."

The shocked expression on her face could've been from anything he had just said, but really, it was from hearing that Ron was hurting just as much as she was. Her head was spinning as she tried to work out what it was she was going to say to Fred.

"You're really rather cute when you look that clueless, you know that?" Fred grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood at little. She blushed and involuntarily felt herself break into a smile. No one made her feel quite as…she couldn't describe the feeling, but it was that feeling that made her find an answer for Fred's question.

"I don't know. It took me nearly seven years to say yes to Ron, and that was after he saved me from a troll and he was there through so many things…and there's so much you don't know, Fred…" She trailed off. There was so much he didn't know, like how Ron had up and left during their hunt for the horcruxes.

"Then start telling me. Hermione, I've never wanted to be close to someone like this. I want to know everything. I want you to trust me. Even if nothing comes of this but becoming your best friend, that's fine, I just want you to be happy." Fred's face was the most serious Hermione had ever seen it. There was such intensity in his eyes that she had to look away. She had never seen this side of Fred before, and quite frankly, she liked it. He was intelligent and loving and all the things she wanted.

With a deep breath, Hermione began talking. Telling Fred anything and everything he wanted to know. Pausing only when he wanted to ask a question, or when she strayed too far of a subject. Hours, it seemed, passed before she was finally done talking. Fred was just left staring at her in disbelief.

"I didn't know things had gotten that bad with you Hermione…I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner." He looked sad when he spoke and Hermione felt a pang of guilt for making him look that way.

"It's okay. You were dead; you couldn't have done anything, really, anyway." She half-laughed at that but it didn't quite reach her eyes, "I guess part of the reason I felt so terrible after Ron left the second time was that I was still traumatized from the first time he left…especially because he was over reacting both times." She closed her eyes so Fred wouldn't see the pain in them.

She could practically hear the anger coming off of him as he rose from the chair and sat on the bed. Sitting down, he wrapped her securely in his arms, where she buried her face in his shoulder and cried until she fell asleep again.

* * *

_**ATTENTION**_: There is someone reading this story that I would very much like to thank. Even if she isn't talking to me, MintyRocker is still complimenting my writing and being generally encouraging. Thank you so much. Can we please try to work this out?


	6. Chapter 6

_6 months previously: _

Ron slammed the kitchen door as he strode into the house, positively fuming. Ginny, sitting at the table, looked up and gave him a ferocious glare.

"What's your problem?" She grumbled, going back to the book she was reading on the table. She noticed that he was still in his uniform, and waving a hand in front of her nose remarked, "Go take a shower, you smell."

Ron's face slowly got redder and redder, Ginny was oblivious to his anger in the corner. Finally, unable to take it anymore, he screamed out, "SHE'S BLOODY CHEATING ON ME!"

Startled, Ginny dropped her book from the table and choked on the sip of tea she had just taken. Coughing, she managed to stammer out "W-what?"

"Exactly what I said! She's been cheating on me. I went to Hermione's after practice let out today, and there she was, sleeping on the couch with some random bloke she works with!" Ron's rage nearly flew off of him in waves. Ginny didn't cower, but she flinched badly when he started yelling.

"I'm sure it isn't what you thought it was, Ron. You're overreacting." Ginny tried to calm her brother down, but to no avail. He was still red-faced and pacing. He paused every once in awhile to pull at his hair or hit a wall.

After about five minutes of that, footsteps could be heard down the stairs, knowing it was her mother, Ginny hurried from the table to explain the situation. Ron, continued his pattern of pacing while Ginny hurriedly whispered to her mother, but after hearing it she screamed, "I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG! I NEVER LIKED THAT GIRL!"

Molly hurried into the kitchen where her youngest son still fumed over the problems with Hermione. Ginny heard more shouting from the kitchen as Molly screamed at Ron for wasting his time on Hermione; in Molly's opinion, no one would ever be good enough for "ickle-Ronniekins".

A faint pop sounded behind Ginny and she whirled around to find the source of the sound, she saw George standing behind her, curiously staring at the magically locked kitchen door.

"Christ, what is she on about now? I swear, they can hear her all the way in the village!" He chortled, giving Ginny a curious look. Ginny glowered at George, not at all amused by his attempt at joking. She was well aware of how loud her mother's screaming was.

"Apparently, as Ron put it, Hermione's cheating on him with a 'bloke from work'. Mum's gone off the deep end because she was 'never good enough'." Ginny rolled her eyes as George's jaw dropped open. As he was unable to speak, Ginny continued, "I think it's a load of bollocks. Hermione? Cheat on Ron? That's hilarious. There has to more to this story. But as our brother will, as always, refuse to take any responsibility for his actions, making it seem like Hermione's the bad guy."

Another pop sounded, and the realized that their father had appeared from work. He grimaced once he realized what was going on.

"Ron got to your mother first, didn't he?" He sighed, knowing the full implications of just what was about to happen. This was certainly a mess Ron had managed to create. Doubts nagged at his mind, his son had never been the most responsible person in the world.

The thoughts were jerked from the front of his mind as the kitchen door flew open and an enraged Molly shouted them inside. This wasn't going to be pretty at all. The three that had been standing at the door knew this was not going to be one of the more pleasant experiences they would have with their wife and mother.

"Did any of you have any clue of what was going on with them?" Molly was still shouting at the top of her voice.

"Of course not, Mum. If Hermione were cheating on him, why would she tell us?" Ginny was being a bit patronizing, hoping it would calm the enraged tigress that was her mother. Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect of what she was looking for. Her mother was one to shout, but if she got quiet, things were about to get uglier than they ever were.

"So if you had absolutely no idea, why are you taking her side? Answer me that!" Molly's voice was quiet and sounded quite a bit deadly. Ginny, George and Arthur all cringed; that voice didn't come around often, and when it did, it meant things were very, very bad. Molly was a ticking time bomb at this point.

Finally, at risk of angering their mother further, it was George who spoke, "Mum; listen to me. Cheating on Ron is _not_ the kind of thing that _Hermione _of all people would do. She's much too noble and loyal for that. I don't know why you believe his ridiculous story, but I'm pretty sure it's far from true."

Molly stared at Ron, hoping he would jump in and defend himself, but his ears and cheeks only turned scarlet. Molly, looking for any excuse to hate Hermione for hurting him at this point, took the darkening of his face to mean that he was just too angry to speak.

"I believe his story because even Ron's not stupid enough to make something like this up. It's much too serious. This is what we're going to do, and I know not a single one of you want to anger me further, but we're going to essentially alienate her."

Molly's words infuriated everyone. Ginny was on the verge of protesting when her father grabbed her arm and shook his head. Storming from the room with Ron at her heals, the kitchen door slammed shut and the room stayed absolutely silent, taking in the massive impact of what just happened.

"Dad, it's just not fair! We can't leave her alone, especially not now! I mean—it's…" Ginny started to protest but was cut short by her father.

"Look, both of you…"Arthur's eyes met Ginny's and George's, "I know it's unfair. I know she's being absolutely unreasonable. And I'm as surprised as you are that your mother is acting this way. The truth is, not a single one of her children has ever been hurt like this. I think you're absolutely right; something fishy is definitely going on. But I would heed her words; don't try to find her or talk to her until we get Ron's_ entire_ story out of him. Just be patient…" He sighed as he ended his speech, stood up, pushed in the table chair, and left the kitchen, leaving Ginny and George astounded at the kitchen table.

Up in his room, Ron was pacing again. His siblings could see right through him; they knew his story wasn't true. They knew something was wrong. He continued his pacing in his bedroom, trying to see some way out of this situation. He knew he had seriously messed up. Somehow, he got the sense that his mother was toying with him until he came clean and told the whole story. Suddenly, there was shouting from the floor beneath him.

"How could you do this to her? You always said she was like a second daughter to you!" Ron heard his father shout from the room below. Lowering himself to the floor to hear the rest, he pressed his ear against the carpet and listened.

"Arthur, calm down. I'm waiting to see what he'll do. Ginny whispered the plan to me in the hallway. She thinks that he was cheating on Hermione first and was looking for an excuse. I agree, and you all played your parts beautifully. Especially Ginny." He heard his mother chuckle, "She always did have a gift for drama."

Ron picked himself up from the floor. His mother was already on to him. He panicked slightly as he tried to figure out what it was he was going to do.

_Present day:_

Hermione woke up to bright sunlight streaming through the "windows" of the hospital room. Fred must have left sometime in the middle of the night as she woke up alone. It saddened her, but she realized it was necessary. It also gave her some time to think. If that dream had been real, she realized there was quite a bit of implication for Fred coming back to life. It was going to hurt him to see him lose that first child. It may not affect him yet, but once he loses that child, he'll realize just what he'd done. At the same time, she reasoned, he had to have known what he was really getting himself into.

There was a quiet knock at the door, and Molly and Arthur entered probably to check on her.

"Oh, good. You're awake." Molly smiled as she sat down on the bed next to her, "Hermione, I want to say that I'm sorry. For several things, but mostly that I wouldn't allow anyone to check on you for six months. I know it hurt you very deeply, but I was trying very hard to teach my youngest son a lesson." Molly sighed as Hermione looked at her with curious and hurt eyes, "This may hurt…a lot. But, Ron wasn't angry at you cheating on him. He was looking for an excuse to leave you because…he met a girl while he was traveling. The girl he became engaged to about a week ago. Hermione, dear, I'm so sorry, but he was the one who was cheating." Molly let her words sink in and she watched the color of Hermione's eyes darken.

Hermione didn't know what to say, honestly. She was absolutely astounded.

"I know, dear. He's a royal arse. But I'm trying to forgive him. He is my son." Molly sighed. Hermione couldn't help but laugh at Molly calling her own son a "royal arse", especially when Molly couldn't stand such language; had anyone else been the one to say that, she would have nearly had palpitations.

"Can you forgive me? It was a terrible plan of mine, and I thought he would crack under pressure much quicker than he did. I feel so responsible…" Hermione watched her for a moment, realizing that she hadn't really had human contact in six months because of Molly. In a way, Hermione was grateful, as odd as that sounded. Hermione would have felt like she needed to keep up her appearance had people been around; it wouldn't have given her a chance to really get in touch with everything she had been feeling.

"Of course I can. It might have even been for the best. I wouldn't have been great company over the last six months." Hermione sighed.

"I'm glad. Get some rest dear, you look like you need it." Molly looked concerned for a moment and added as an afterthought, "You always were like a second daughter to me. I'm sorry I let this happen."

Molly handed her a dreamless sleep potion, which Hermione took without question. Before she could think another thought, the potion took over and Hermione was asleep.

Striding out of the hospital room, Molly was dead-set on making her youngest son pay for what he had done to this girl. She wanted to forgive but, she couldn't until Ron had made things right with Hermione. She didn't quite know what she was planning to have him do, but she would think of something.

Molly was still scheming as she disapparated from the lobby.

* * *

A very good review from Binka inspired the idea for this chapter. I know where I wanted to go with this story, but I hadn't noticed the huge wholes in parts of it. Thanks, Binka, for inspiring my chapter. :)


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